3 strikes and you’re out


I like to think I’m a relatively caring human being, ready to listen to and support my friends when they need it, but there are times when I’ve decided to draw the line.

Once, I’ll give you all the help I can, twice I’ll wonder why it’s happened again. Thrice and that’s it, find some other mug.

1. Burton/Taylor syndrome.

I can’t imagine why you’d keep going back to the partner who supposedly made your life a misery: maybe you like the drama, or you really believe that ‘this time it’s gonna be different’. Well it isn’t. Unless you’ve had serious therapy, or one of you has had a personality transplant, it’s going to be just the same. By all means keep going back, but don’t expect any more sympathy, the rest of the world is bored of you.

Have a look at baggagereclaim.com and see if you can sort yourself out.

2. ‘Giving up’ smoking/drinking/drugs or going on about losing weight.

Yes good on you for trying, but after a while the excuses wear thin. Just stop doing it or carry on and shut up. We’re BORED of hearing about it.

3. Standing me up.

I don’t know how many hours of my life I’ve spent waiting for friends who are late. Or being cancelled at the last minute. It’s bloody annoying and makes me feel like I’m not important to you. Of course unavoidable things happen sometimes, but if I make an arrangement I try to stick to it. If you’re hedging your bets then say ‘maybe’ and I can look for something better too.

To add insult to injury, I was once 5 minutes late to meet my habitual offender of a friend, who didn’t bother to wait for me. That’s when I realised I should stop putting up with it. I have better things to do.

4. Borrowing things.

I have been kind enough to lend you something. You found the time to pick it up and now strangely you’re too busy to bring it back. Please don’t make me ask you several times- it’s very rude and I’ll probably say no next time. Or worse still make me come and get it. I wouldn’t treat you like that, so why should I let you do it to me?

5. I could do one about suicide threats, but would probably get lynched. Seriously, go and get some help.

It’s so easy these days for people to say on facebook etc. how much they love each other, but I think actions speak louder than words. And treating people as you would like to be treated is a very good start.

Or mebbe how they would like to be treated.

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