Me: Shall we update each other on our dating exploits?
OF: Yeh, what have you been up to?
Me: Well after the nearly vicar I met someone on another bench- by the river in York.
OF. Really? I had a date with a man from York. In the Adelphi recently.
Me (with dread) Really? It wasn’t a couple of weeks ago was it? On a Sunday night?
OF. Er, yes.
Me. He’s 6 foot seven?
OF (laughs) yeh, do you know him?
Me. Er yes, he came round to mine afterwards and stayed the night. He said he was meeting a band in the Adelphi about possibly joining them.
OF. No way! I texted him after to see if he got home ok. He texted back saying I was a sexy kisser.
Me. He was at mine then. I can’t quite believe this.
OF. He said he was tired because he’d been at a band rehearsal on Friday which turned into a wine drinking session and late night.
Me. Yep, that’ll be when we had a date and I stayed over. Bloody hell, I really liked him.
OF. Yep, so did I.
Me. Shall we text the lying cunt?
So, what have I learnt from this sorry episode?
- My gut instinct isn’t infallible (though if I’d known he was a salesman I probably wouldn’t have met up with him).
- Leeds is smaller than you might think.
- To check in with my dating mates so we can swap man details and not overlap.
- Even when I am my usual ‘brutally honest’ self, I can’t expect it of others.
- Being lied to makes me feel sick.
- Tho odd blog is quite cathartic.
We all know that people might be dating several others at the beginning, but this was both rude and deceitful. I’m now questioning everything he told me. I’m guessing ‘early retirement’ means ‘old git on the dole’. And ‘I really want to keep you in my life’ means ‘you’re a mug, ker-ching’.
It’s hard not to get bitter and suspicious, but I refuse to ruin myself for some bloody psychopath. Perhaps I should go for the cynical curmudgeons, I think they might be more honest.